Chasing Hope
by Alice Zark
Summary: Jack has lost everything that means something to him. When He is haunted by Ianto's ghost, he will try to get him back. CoE Spoliers!
1. Chapter 1

A/N- This is a brand new story for you guys! I do not own anything, and I hope you enjoy!

Jack sat alone in the only place he had left, Ianto's flat. The flat brought back memories of previous times he was there. The hub had been blown up, along with him, Gwen was with Rhys and probably didn't want him there, and he had had a key to Ianto's flat, that Ianto had given him, not so long ago. The pain was unbearable. His daughter gone along with his grandson, and the love of his life gone. Just being in the flat hurt. The smell of him over powering, he wished he could change things, go back in time and convince him to stay with Gwen. But it was over, to late, he was gone. He tried, God help him he tried, the last kiss, him not saying I love you back, trying to get enough life energy out of his body to save the dying man in his arms. Tears spilled from his eyes, he couldn't take it. He got up from the couch and went to find Ianto's stash of alcohol. He needed something to drown out the pain. He grabbed the bottle of scotch and downed half of it one gulp. It didn't work, the pain in his heart was still there, Ianto still gone. He cursed, then walked towards the door. Grabbing for the handle, he stopped. He felt someone behind him, watching. He put his hand on his gun, and slowly turned.

"Stop being rash Jack. It's only me." A voice said coming from the figure.

Jack stopped and stared. He smiled, then snickered. "I really must be drunk." He said shaking his head.

"You're not drunk Jack." The figure said laughing a little at the comment.

"I have to be, you're here, but you're dead." Jack said confused now.

"You fight alien's every day and you're asking why I'm here."

"It's not why, it's how. I have to be drunk there's no way." Jack started to step back now reaching for the door.

"You're not drunk and I'm really here." The figure started to walk towards Jack but stopped when he spoke.

"No! This is a sick joke someone's playing on me. I won't believe you! You're gone, you're dead! I saw you, held you. Please stop whoever you are! Please . . . it hurts." Jack shouted backing up to the wall and sitting down on the floor hugging his knees, tears flowing heavier now.

The figures heart broke. "Jack. That's why I'm here . . . to see you." It said making its way over to Jack. It placed its hand on Jack's shoulder.

Jack's head shot up as he looked at the figure. "How are you touching me?"

"Jack shh . . ." The figure soothed. It couldn't stand seeing him like this, so it gave in. "You're drunk Jack, I'm just a figment of your imagination." It said sitting down next to Jack.

"That's what I thought." Jack somewhat stuttered as he leaned his head back agents the wall.

"Are you okay Jack? I'm worried." The figure asked as it took ahold of Jack's hand.

"Am I okay? Ianto . . . dying in my arms didn't help much." Jack confessed looking down. "I'm a mess, I can't even stay in here without the smell of him. I know now that I'm completely alone." Jack said mostly to himself.

"You're not alone. People love you, Jack; you just have to see that."

"It's hard. Ianto being dead, it hurts. I don't even tell him how I felt about him." Tears falling harder now.

"Then tell me how did you feel?"

"I love him . . . loved him. I couldn't go a minute without thinking about him. Now he's gone." Jack hung his head, the pain stronger now than ever.

"If he was here, if he was back, what would you do?"

"Tell him how much he means to me, just hold him."

The figure sighed, his heart breaking. "Jack it's me, please believe me, I'm here . . . not fully back yet, but I'm here with you now. I love you too, and I know you tried to save me, but it was too late . . ." The figure said hopping Jack would come to terms.

"You're not him." Jack said firmly.

"No. Not yet, but aren't I good enough for now? Hold me, tell me you love me. I'm here till morning. I won't leave you, Jack."

Jack looked up. "How are you here? Don't lie because I know you know."

"Would you believe me if I told you?"

"I don't know . . . but I miss you Yan. I know it's not you, but hell, I really need you." Jack said through tears as he pulled Ianto to him. "Ha, you're cold."

"I'm dead. But I'm coming back."

"How? The 456 killed you. I'm lucky you're here now."

"The kiss. I think you put just enough in. I think it's working."

Jack couldn't believe it. Working. What he so desperately regretted was now working. "Working?"

"Yea. I feel it, more and more life coming back."

Jack smiled; he put his finger under Ianto's chin and pulled him up to meet his lips. Kissing ever so softly. "I love you Ianto Jones."

"I love you too Jack Harkness." Ianto kissed back softly, wrapping his fingers through his hair.

Jack held him close, not wanting to let go. He picked him up and carried him to Ianto's bedroom. He placed both of them softly onto the top covers and got on top. Ianto ran his hands down Jack's back bringing him close. Jack broke apart gasping for air, a fresh stream of tears falling.

"What's the matter cariad?" Ianto said, whipping the tears off of his face.

"You're not here . . . I'm going to wake up tomorrow and you're not going to be here. How am I going to cope? How do I know this is not a dream?" Jack spat out through tears.

Ianto pulled Jack to him and kissed his neck. He slightly bit and sucked marking Jack with a bright red mark. "Tomorrow morning you will see this and know that I'm going to come back for you. I always will Jack."

Jack smiled and laid down on Ianto's chest. A slight heart beat was heard in Ianto's chest. Jack smiled knowing he was the reason for that. Ianto stroked the top of Jack's head pushing Jack farther and farther into sleep. Ianto kissed the top of Jack's head as he drifted to sleep.

"I love you Jack Harkness. I will see you tomorrow."

Jack tried to respond but was to far into sleep.

Jack woke up the next morning with a headache. He slowly got up and tried to remember the night before. His eyes filled with tears as he remembered the life-like dream. His mind was playing tricks on him and it hurt him badly. He got up and walked into the bathroom and took a shower. When he got out he whipped the mirror of the fog that was on it and examined himself in the mirror. He stopped suddenly when he saw the little bright red mark on his neck. The dream played out in his head as Ianto's voice filled his ears.

_"Tomorrow morning you will see this and know that I'm going to come back for you. I always will Jack."_

Jack brought his fingertips up to brush across it and saw that it was not a trick his mind was playing on him. He smiled slightly and continued on to what he was doing. He got dressed and walked into the kitchen. He opened the fridge hoping there was something in there but there wasn't. He closed it and something caught his eye.

_Dear Jack,_

_I hope you slept well. I have to sat watching you sleep for once was surprising. You know you smile in your sleep. Anyway I am writing this to show you that last night was not a dream, or a hallucination. I was really there and it really happened! I will be back here tonight as soon as the sun goes down. I hope to see you tonight. Have a great day, and I will watch you. I love you!_

_Ianto_

Jack smiled bigger as he grabbed his coat, shoved the letter in his pocket and walked out the door, starting a new happy day with Ianto by his side.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N- Thank you to me awesome Beta for taking her time to so this for me! I love you. Hope you enjoy!**

Jack met up with Gwen at the coffee shop that used to be across from the hub. He saw her and walked over. He looked her over once. Her stomach showed a small baby bump. Her hair was pinned back in a messy pony tail, and her nails were done.

"Jack!" Gwen greeted, standing up to greet her friend. "How are you?"

"This might be a surprise to you, but excellent! I haven't been better." Jack said, laughing somewhat.

Gwen looked at Jack. "Really? I mean . . . don't get me wrong, I'm happy for you, but are you really?"

"Yes! I know, I wouldn't believe myself either." Jack said, sitting down next to her.

"Well can I ask what brought this up?" Gwen questioned, taking a sip of her tea.

"That's actually why I asked you to meet me here." Jack took a sip of water.

"Okay then, spill!" Gwen probed Jack as the waiter come to the table.

"Coffee sir?"

Jack closed his eyes for a second. No one had called him sir since Ianto died. He composed himself then answered. "No thank you, I'm fine." He said, turning back to Gwen.

"No coffee?" Gwen questioned, taking another sip of her tea.

"No. Since Ianto died, it hasn't been the same." Jack confessed.

Gwen looked down. "I'm sorry Jack . . . I . . . I didn't mean." Gwen stuttered apologetically.

"It's fine Gwen." Jack reassured her.

"So . . . what did you need to talk about?" Gwen said trying to change the topic.

"Ianto." Jack said bluntly.

"Really? Shouldn't you leave that alone?" Gwen questioned, setting her hand on Jacks.

"No! I need help with something. He's coming back! He's alive!" Jack almost shouted.

"Come on Jack, let this go. It's not healthy to drag on this." Gwen said, trying to calm Jack down.

"No Gwen, look!" Jack said pulling down his collar to reveal the small red mark on his neck.

"Jack! Where did you get that from?" Gwen asked in shock.

"Ianto!"

"What?"

Jack pulled up to Ianto's flat and parked. He stayed in the car and leaned his head back. It was starting to get dark, but he didn't care. The afternoon with Gwen kept playing in his head.

_"Why Jack? Why do you do this? He's dead, gone, not coming back!" Gwen got up, placed ten pounds on the table, then turned back to Jack "When you get your story straight, and stop joking about Ianto, then come talk to me. I know Ianto didn't mean that much to you, but he really loved you. And he died because you were too selfish to put anyone else before yourself! Goodbye Jack!" She said as she walked away._

Jack was going to confront her, but she walked away to quickly. He sighed to himself. _'How could she say that? I loved Ianto with everything I had. I know I didn't show it well, but I still loved him! God I hate that bitch! She was just pissed that Ianto got all the attention and not her sweet sorry ass.' _Jack shook the thoughts out of his head and got out of the car.

He walked to the door of the flat and opened it. He walked in and stopped where he was. The overwhelming smell of coffee filled his nose. He walked forward, hand on his gun, towards the kitchen. When he enters he is shocked at what he sees. The kitchen was lightly lit by lit candles, rose petals scattered around on the table, along with two lit candles in the middle for light, a bottle of wine, and a place setting for two. Soft music was playing in the background. Jack felt warm and strangely at home in the different atmosphere of the kitchen. He turned to his left and saw Ianto, leaned over a stove stirring a pot of something on the stove.

"Ya . . . Ianto?" Jack asked.

"Jack!" Ianto sounded surprised. He straightened up and looked at Jack. "I didn't expect you home so early." He said smiling.

"Um . . . yea." Jack said trying to avoid the obvious question that was on his tong.

"I made dinner!" He said in a 'look at what I did' tone.

"I see!" Jack answered. "Okay I can't put this off anymore. How are you doing all this?"

Ianto just stood there looking at Jack. "Dinner?" He said trying to avoid the question.

"Ianto, answer me please!" Jack said crossing his arms across his chest.

"I don't know. The only thing I know is that every night I become human for a while. During the day I'm dead. I have no clue what is going on."

"So . . . you're alive at night and dead during the day?"

"Yea." Ianto responded

Jack silently chuckled to himself. "What's so funny?" Ianto asked placing a hand on his hip.

"Nothing. It's just that, you're dead during the day, alive at night, and you're cold." Jack answered, his chuckle turning into a laugh.

Ianto just stood there, still confused. "Really Ianto? Vampire, Ianto. You are like a vampire."

Ianto glared at Jack. "Ha, funny!" He said turning his attention back to the pot on the stove.

"Hey, at least you don't sparkle. Then you would _really _be gay!"

"Really Jack! Do you have some infatuation with Edward now?"

"God no! What do you think I am a gay little girl? Trust me Ianto he does not make me want to reach down and touch myself."

"Good. Because some fetishes should be kept to yourself!"

Jack laughed over falling over.

Ianto laughed. "Oh Jack, what am I going to do with you?"

"Mmm . . . feed me, love me, sleep with me." Jack said, wrapping his arms around his waist and kissing his neck.

Ianto brought up the spoon so Jack could taste the hot liquid. "Mmm . . . that's good! What is it?"

"My mam's homemade cheese sauce." Ianto said, very proud. "Do me a favor love, and grab me the macaroni out of the oven."

Jack listened and got out the hot pan filled with elbows. He placed it on the stove next to the pan next to Ianto. Ianto smiled and poured the sauce on top and stirred it. He picked up the pan and placed it onto the table. Jack and Ianto sat down and started to serve themselves.

"So how was your day, Jack?" Ianto asked, shoving a forkful of Mac and Cheese into his mouth.

"Aggravating." Jack answered, doing the same.

"Why? What happened?"

"I went to see Gwen today."

"How is she? Fat yet?" Ianto laughed.

"A little, she's starting to show. But I called her because I wanted to talk to her about . . . you."

"Me?" Ianto questioned surprised.

"Yeah. She thinks I'm lying. I need help! If I want to get you back I have to know what to do!"

"Baby, don't worry about it yet. Let's just enjoy this." He said, smiling at Jack.

He picked up the wine bottle and poured Jack and himself a glass. After they ate, they sat on the couch and snuggled.

"Ianto?" Jack said, breaking the silence in the room.

"Yes Jack?"

"What is it like? Where you go I mean." Jack questioned, stroking the young man's hair.

"It's not like you said it would be. It's warm, quiet but loud, and I can feel you there." He said tilting his head up to look at Jack.

"Me there? That sounds nothing like where I go." He confessed, looking down at the bright blue eyes that stared back at him.

"I know you are alright, and everything is going to be okay."

"I love you Ianto. I'm sorry I didn't show it before."

"It's okay Jack. I understand. I knew you loved me."

Jack smiled down at him, and leaned into kiss him. They kissed back and Ianto got up from his spot to sit on Jack's lap. They continue to kiss and Jack ran his hand up Ianto's shirt. Ianto pulled away and Jack started to plant small kisses onto his jaw and neck.

"Jack . . . getting me excited won't work. I can't."

"Why-can't –you?" Jack said between kisses on his neck.

"I'm dead. But I can still do you." Ianto said, smirking at Jack.

"No. If I can't be totally with you, I can wait. I just want to hold and kiss you right now." Jack said whole heartedly.

"Aw, Jack!" Ianto leaned in and kissed him again.

Jack picked Ianto up into his arms and carried him into the bedroom. He placed him down on the bed like the night before, this time under the covers.

"I'm going to miss waking up and not having you here." Jack said, sorrow in his voice.

"I know love. But I'll always be here, and I will always come back for you." Ianto said, trying to reassure Jack.

"Tomorrow can I call Owen and Tosh and see what they think? Maybe even call them in when you get here?"

"I guess. I want to come back as much as you want me to."

"Then tomorrow I call the Torchwood team again. Our first real meeting since the . . ." Jack trailed off, not wanting to bring it up again.

Ianto saw the pain in his eyes. "Jack?"

"It's nothing I'm fine." He lied, whipping silent tears from his face.

"Honey, that's behind us now." Ianto tried to help him, but he knew that until he was fully back, this would still pain Jack.

"Just saying that stupid number hurts. Holding you still hurts. Waking up in the morning hurts. You dying in my arms, killed me. I will never forgive myself for that day. I should have kept you with Gwen."

"I know you think that way, but it wasn't you! I love you Jack, with everything I have. I will die thousands of times to know that you are okay. I love you, Jack Harkness, forever!"

Tears were on the edge of Jack's eyes and on his cheeks. "I love you too, Ianto Jones. I always have. And I swear on my life that I will get you back, and we will be together, and you will be mine."

"Jack . . . is that?"

"Yes, Ianto Jones. As soon as I get you back, I'm marrying you."

Ianto smiled and kissed Jack. "Sleep now love. I'll see you tomorrow."

Jack snuggled into Ianto's chest gripping him tight. "I absolutely love the night." Jack whispered to himself as he drifted off into sleep.


	3. Update post

Hello my good followers of Fanfiction. I am posting this to say that I am going to stop posting for a while.

For one- I have a lot of school work a head of me that I need to finish right now.

Two- I have a really bad case of writers block! (Which never happens and it is pissing me off)

Three- I am working hard on a new fanfiction that you guys are going to love.

I am really sorry about this, but I really do not want to put up some shitty chapter that sucks. It will only be for a few weeks until everything cools down. I fear though that you guys will forget me and wont like my stuff anymore. So please guys when you read this, review and try to help me out on the writers block. What should happen in the story now, what would you like to see me do? Please guys, help me out, and when you do I will make the next 6 chapters the best ever! And I will post a brand new Fanfiction that will blow your socks off! Thank you so much!

Alice Zark


	4. I'm Back!

ATTENTION ALL!

It is I Alice Zark, here to tell you all some WOUNDERFUL news! This Friday April 8th at 8 I will be posting a new chapter of I must be dreaming, and Saturday the 9th I will be posting a one-shot that I have been working on for some time now. There is one issue…My beta **EternalTearsOfBlood **may or may not be able to beta my work. So I am looking for someone to beta this. In the comments to this addition, leave me your name, e-mail/FF name, and why you should and if your good at it and I will send it to the one I think worthy. Thank you guys so much for sticking with me. I look forward to seeing your comments and favorites in my E-mail. I thank you all so much…I'm back baby.

~Alice Zark

p.S- For those who are my avid readers, would you mind if I did more then just Torchwood fanfictions? I am worried about that and would like to know.


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